I'm an actor, writer, comedian, Octomom, Jennifer Aniston, and other searchable terms. I perform at UCB, I'm a member of Dutch West, and started Very Mary-Kate. Please note: this is a dot net site, not a dot com. The other Elaine Carroll is a flutist who does birthday parties. She does mine every year and she's excellent.

Went to Soho today and took this picture of a mentally handicapped person.

Went to Soho today and took this picture of a mentally handicapped person.

Same girl, same camera, same favorite flannel shirt.

Same girl, same camera, same favorite flannel shirt.

Observations: 1.  Dutch West is a vertically challenged comedy group, so my slouching makes the boys look tall. 2.  I should never wear hats.  Not in winter, not in caves, not even in hat stores… just never. 3. I am a pirate, through and through.

Observations:

1.  Dutch West is a vertically challenged comedy group, so my slouching makes the boys look tall.

2.  I should never wear hats.  Not in winter, not in caves, not even in hat stores… just never.

3. I am a pirate, through and through.

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Wish I could say this is a new character I’m working on, but no, this was my first headshot.  I honestly have no clue how old I am here.  My guess is somewhere between the age of 11 and 48. I seriously love this picture, and I think, I THINK, I might just use it as my legitimate headshot one day.  Just because it’s so marvelously awful.

Wish I could say this is a new character I’m working on, but no, this was my first headshot.  I honestly have no clue how old I am here.  My guess is somewhere between the age of 11 and 48.

I seriously love this picture, and I think, I THINK, I might just use it as my legitimate headshot one day.  Just because it’s so marvelously awful.

Happy birthday, bestie.

Happy birthday, bestie.